Worst flicks, #10 being the least terrible, #1 being the shittiest
10. Poltergeist: why remake a movie if you have nothing new to add. In
fact, why remake a movie that is suck a classic in the first place? Just pick a terrible movie and make it better. Ugh.
9. Sinister 2: The original had a
very creepy premise and just barely works. Here, the premise is the same except they take a secondary character from the first one and have him investigate stuff related to the monster. It's super boring. The killing scenes are better but there's too
many of them and it loses the intended effect.
8. The Lazarus Effect: Olivia Wilde can't act. No one believes me but as proof, please take a look at this horror movie.
She can't even act like someone who is half dead. Terrible ending too. Previews ruined a lot of the possible scares
7. Seventh Son: an attempt at starting a franchise
that works just about as well as that Marlon Waynes movie Dungeons and Dragons. CGI is terrible, main character is annoying and has no charisma. It's hard to see Julianne Moore slumming it, but everyone has to work.
6. Pawn Sacrifice: Tobey Maguire can't act. I only have come to this realization after the Great Gatsby and now this. He just yells and looks confused. Liev Schriber is an excellent actor but wasted in this
movie that sets up a great chess match that ends up being boring.
5. Paul Blart Mall Cop 2: I laughed twice. Is Kevin James looking to Adam Sandler for advice on how
to pick scripts? Plus, they do away with the leading lady from #1 even before the movie begins. Yikes.
4. Old Fashioned: The church happy director called this an answer to
50 Shades of Grey, meaning it's a Born-again love story. What they end of having in common is that the lead character here, who refuses to even be in the same room as the leading lady because, you know, God or something, ends up being creepier than Christian
Grey. Disturbing and boring
3. Hitman: Agent 47: congrats, TWO Hitman movies now suck.
2. Blackhat:
what a yawn fest. I guess I'm just not a Michael Mann fan because I hate the way he set up a shot and also the way he shoots an action sequence. Thor deserves better.
1. Aloha:
the annual big budget big director big disaster. This movie is so annoying. First off, no character acts like any human being I've ever met. And forget character development. The characters have no clear motivations for anything which makes
everything they do baffling. Plus, explain to me the plot in a convincing way that doesn't make you sound like you're making it up with mad libs and I owe you a Coke. This is the biggest shame of the year since Cameron Crowe writes such smart dialogue.
Aloha proves, however, if you don't have an engaging story with interesting characters, dialogue can't save you.