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Which Movies Are Worth Your 12 Bucks?
The Wolf of Wall Street Feels Like It's Directed By A Much Younger Person (12/30/13)
I recently googled Martin Scorcese and confirmed what I thought: the man is old as f****. But I was curious about his age (71 if you're curious) because watching his latest, The Wolf of Wall Street, feels like watching a film from a much younger director. It's energetic with a frenzied sense of urgency that translates to excitement. It also somehow feels just the right length even as it nears the 3 hour mark. Scorcese teams up with his muse Leonardo DiCaprio and again make a classic. I think it's their best film. The subject matter about a man that falls victim to a perfect storm of excesses (his own and those conducive to being successful in Wall Street where greed and even cruelty equal success) is as timely as ever and so fun to watch, I found myself laughing more than any comedy this year. It's dark, of course, but it's subversive and hilarious. The cliche 'getting better with age' may actually apply to Scorcese. FINAL GRADE: A-
I feel like I've seen Grudge Match Before (12/30/13)
You could argue that the premise of Grudge Match (elderly boxers come out of retirement for "one last" fight) has been beaten to death, no pun intended. That's because Stallone has been old for about 20 years so Rocky 5 and Rock Balboa kind of have the same plot. The difference is this movie goes for intentional laughs. Unfortunately they don't come enough and Stallone has zero comic timing. Yet I enjoyed myself and if you love sports movies this is a good one. I wished the direction was a little tighter and the movie moved quicker (and more Kevin Hart please) but it was entertaining. FINAL GRADE: B-
47 Ronin Bores Me (12/30/13)
47 Ronin features witches and magic and dragons and is in 3D. If that sounds overbloated to you, you're correct but this Keanu Reeve starer also somehow manages to be boring. There's nothing compelling or new added to this age-old story and Keanu Reeve's character is a bore. The villain is uninspired and the ending is a let down. Wait for Cable. FINAL GRADE: C-
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug needs a new title (12/23/13)
The Hobbit Part Two is the biggest cinematic blue balls in recent memory. The title lies, plain and simple. I won't spoil it (exactly) but suffice to say it's an unsatisfying ending to what is, up until the last 10 minutes, thoroughly enjoyable. This second part of The Hobbit trilogy picks up right after the first and from the get go it's action action action. This should come as a welcomed surprise to the faithful who watched dwarfs eat dinner for 45 minutes in the last one (ostensibly to develop characters but I challenge anyone to name all of the dwarfs, I can't tell most of them apart). The movie moves along briskly jumping from adventure to adventure and although it gets repetitive (how many times can you see a last minute arrow save a dwarf before yawning?) it's good fun. Then the ending comes and it proves once more that Peter Jackson padded this motherfu***r like he was returning it to Amazon. Needles to say I was disappointed and demand a new title that is more fitting. How about The Hobbit: The Awakening of Smaug? FINAL GRADE: B
Saving Mr. Banks feels more like an HBO movie then a feature film (12/24/13)
Unlike the movie I just reviewed the title of Saving Mr. Banks is very appropriate. It is explained, in detail, why exactly this movie about the making of Mary Poppins by Walt Disney & Co. is named neither after the famous man who produced it or the author of the source material. The issue with the movie is that it over explains. The melodrama is laid out too thick as we are forced to sit through repetitive flashbacks about the author's childhood. I'm not spoiling anything by writing that it's not a good one but does it have to be so heavy handed? One scene of Collin Farrell (as the father) drinking whiskey from a bottle and shaking his fists up at the heavens as his addiction ruins his life is enough. We are treated to several versions of essentially that scene again and again. The movie is saved by the stellar acting of Hanks and Thompson who anchor the melodrama with subtle and winning performances of two real people. The film is also well written but it all has a whiff of TV Biopic, which is generally allowed more room to meander. It's high class TV movie for sure but it's not a compelling feature film. FINAL GRADE: B-
This Weekend: Frozen and Oldboy (12/07/13)
I watched 2 movie this weekend: one a remake and the other might as well be one. Both offered something different than I expected but not in a good way. The first is Frozen, the latest Disney (but
NOT Pixar) animated feature. The movie follows 2 princess sisters in a typical (read: generic) disney adventure full of princes, animal sidekicks and a bit of self discovery. It also features music for the first time in a long while. The
first surprise of the film was the way it presented its heroines. It starts with one of them wanting to marry a prince which is about what I expected but refreshingly, it turns the traditional disney wallflower princess on its head. The girls
may swoon and stutter around a pretty guy (and one even proposes the same day she meets a handsome prince) but by the end the guys are put to the side for some sisterly bonding. This is something Pixar explored with Brave and while that movie featured
a more assertive female protagonist, Frozen is funnier with a less bizarre plot (and given that it involves magic, that's saying something). Unfortunately the movie lacks a compelling antogonist and falls apart at the end (the last minute reveal of a
baddie is too little too late). The last 30 minutes let the preceding 70 minutes down and the movie leaves you with a "blah" feeling. There are some laughs but nothing to get too excited about. FROZEN: B- The second movie is a very adult remake of the Japanese film of the same name. The plot is a doozy: an alcoholic f*** up of a man is kidnapped and kept in a room
for 20 years then just as suddenly let go. The mystery is why he was taken and, more importantly, why he was let go. If that sounds awesome to you it can be and if you want to see it done right watch the original. This Spike Lee directed version is dull and
lacks any energy. The word that I keep coming back to is uninspired. It neuters the story to such a degree that I found myself wanting MORE violence. As its presented It's a revenge tale where the main character gets very little revenge,
leaving the viewer unsatisifed. And boy can Spike Lee NOT direct action. The scene I waited for where the main character beats the sh** out of dozens of people with a hammer, so memorable in the original, is amateurishly stagged and not the least
bit exciting. The ending also makes no sense unless you saw the original and if you did, you would remember how awesome this movie can be and you're dissappointed that this new version isn't. OLDBOY: C-
Thor: The Dark World Has A Case of The Giggles (11/23/13)
The previews for Thor: The Dark World exploit your memory of the awesomeness of The Avengers by inviting us to "witness the return of an Avenger." That's super cool in a far out way and while the sequel imports the streamlined plot of The Avengers it also brings with it it's humor. That's not a bad thing but it feels somewhat out of place in Thor where the drama has always been more serious with shades of Shakespearean tragedy. The film gets the giggles early on and continues making us laugh to the point of distraction. That needs to be dialed down by about 15% and the action needs to be dialed up by 20% because it feels lacking. But I had a good time and you will too. FINAL GRADE: B
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is starting to resemble Twilight. Uh oh. (11/23/13)
The sequel to last year's Hunger Games spends too much time moping around and not enough of time on the action or getting to know characters not named Katniss. The book is told from her perspective but the films most certainly are not which should allow it to jump around and take more chances. Instead, Catching Fire plays it safe. Action happens offscreen in favor of following Katniss who spends much of the film pining over two boys at alternating times while being proclaimed a "role model" to all girls. Whaaa? It's all a little too twilight and the movie could do with focusing on other plot points instead of the CW-ish dramatics. Entertaining but it could have been so much more
FINAL GRADE: B-
The Book Thief feels like homework (11/23/13)
I can imagine a very enthusiastic fifth grade teacher taking her class to see the film version of The Book Thief, based on the fiction best seller. Watching the movie, I felt like I was in that class because the movie feels like homework. It's a by-the-numbers WW2 drama that lays it on very thick with dramatics that I'm sure worked on paper but feel too much on screen. The acting is uniformly good and the ending does commit to something but nothing about the film is exciting or risk taking. In addition using a Death as the narrator feels out of place and unnecessary. FINAL GRADE: C
Captain Phillips is real and good but not great (10/15/13)
Screenwriter Billy Ray and Director Phillip Greengrass combine their impressive talents to make a drama that embodies everything that is good and bad about their styles of moviemaking. Ray, whose efforts include Breach and Shattered Glass, never digs deep into his real life subjects. He's a Dragnet "just the facts" screenwriter who uses the details of the real events to sell the story. The reasoning is that the events are already compelling, so why embellish? He's right because Captain Phillips had kidnapping and pirates so it's certainly not boring. But he never goes for character development, leaving the protagonist a cypher. Greengrass has his own style: hand held "realistic" directing, which can cause the more motion-sickness prone segment of the audience to look away. He uses the same technique here. The combination of shaky cam and ray's adherence to the facts make Phillips feel like a documentary. But it's one that never asks tough questions of its subjects, preferring to let actions speak for themselves. It works but only to a point. Captain Phillips could have been great but it's only good. FINAL GRADE: B
Gravity tells a simple story extraordinarily well (10/15/13)
Gravity is an impressive action-drama that excels by telling a simple story extraordinarily well in a compact 90 minute running time. The bells and whistles are that it takes place in space, after an accident forces one astronaut (actually a doctor) to fend for herself to get back to earth, but the journey we take is basically a story of loss and of acceptance. It could just as well could have been told on earth under other extreme survivalist circumstances (think trying to get down a mountain after an avalanche) but the film uses it's setting beautifully. Elegantly staged, Gravity is a master class in simple directing and that's not a jab. The word that kept coming to mind is restraint. I wish Michael Bay would learn from this
FINAL GRADE: B+
Insidious: Chapter 2 makes me uneasy but not scared (09/14/13)
One of the creepiest movies of the past few years was the original Insidious. It was a well directed small budget horror film which used atmosphere, score, and solid acting to freak me out in the theatre in 2012. This follow up continues the story from the first but lacks the freshness of the original. All of the cast returns so the acting remains tops but not enough of the scares actually, well, scare. You're left with a slight feeling of uneasiness which is not quite what you expect from a horror movie. It does wrap up this story and cleverly sets up a franchise which I'm in for so I hope the next one will be a bit better. FINAL GRADE: B-
The Family squanders a strong cast (09/13/13)
The Family is a mess of a movie which squanders a strong cast. The set up is rife for comedy: an aged mobster and his family in the witness protection program have to blend in as 'normal' in a small town. But the tone varies wildly: It's surprisingly violent. Whole families die (including children) and DeNiro as the lead does hideous things (in the present, so not just in flashbacks) which make us lose sympathy for him. The violence might work in dark comedy but the movie isn't particularly funny. The laughs which should come from the culture clash between the american city family and the european farm people are not present. The last third also turns into an action drama where many more people (including innocent civilians) die awful deaths. By the time the credits rolled my one sentence review was "what a waste." Also of note, this mess of a film was directed by the guy who did the Transporter, also a mess of a film. But it lacks the cheesy fun of that Stathem-led action film. Maybe this guy isn't a good director? FINAL GRADE: C-
Battle of the Year is what I expected (09/21/13)
I love sports movies and while B-Boy dancing is technically a competition it involves teamwork so that's close enough for the story arc I want to see: rag-tag group of wannabes have to learn to work together to suceed. I got just that in a by-the-numbers movie that only surprises because of the subject matter. I've seen basketball teams make a last minute rally to win the game, I haven't really seen a team of dancers contort and twerk themselves to victory. Everything is just fine and I understand why people would hate this ordainary movie but I didn't. Movies like this have a place. Side note: Chris Brown is a scumbag but we get to see him punched in the face and he DOESN'T make it to the end which made me smile so go into this movie watching with a clean conscience. FINAL GRADE: C+
I want to Getaway from Getaway (09/02/13)
Fall is here and with it comes droves of movies not good enough to be released in the summer but not bad enough to be sent straight to streaming (I had to mentally correct myself before I typed 'video' by the way. Yes, it means I'm old and yes it's depressing). Getaway stars Ethan Hawke as a former race car driver who walks into his European apartment to find his wife gone. She's been kidnapped by an unseen man who needs him to use a juiced up car to perform a series of seemingly unrelated tasks all involving driving really fast. It's an interesting premise and I was encouraged with the different style of the film, at least initially. There are dozens of cameras mounted inside and outside of the car, giving us a view of driving straight out of "Need for Speed." I've never seen that before in a movie so I was excited. Unfortunately, the originality is confined to the first 10 minutes. The rest is mind numbingly dull as Hawke drives around and smashes into people and things. It gets boring very quickly and the introduction of Selena Gomez (a terrible actress) doesn't make it much better. Hawke and Gomez have no chemistry together but in fairness to them they get no help from the plot which doesn't go anywhere. It meanders then reveals a couple of "surprises" which are neither surprising or interesting. The joke is easy to make but this film is so bad it deserves it anyway: I wanted to Get away from Getaway. FINAL GRADE: D-
Riddick Is a Nice Surprise (09/06/13)
The first surprise of the Fall Movie Season is here and amazingly it's a GOOD surprise. Believe it or not, Riddick is actually a bit better than decent. I know that's surprising considering this is the 3rd film in a film series that nobody besides Vin Diesel and director David Twohy wants. But Vin Diesel REALLY wants it and you can see he cares by the intensity he puts into playing the titled character. That passion helps the film which features Riddick by himself for a good chunk of it. Riddick fixes the mistakes of "Chronicles of Riddick" by turning away from that over bloated PG-13 Space Opera to get back to the nitty gritty violent dirty R-Rated Horror film. The film is well directed and set up some effective tension. The problem with the film is that it's top-heavy. It sets up the introduction of monsters which only show up in the last 40 minutes. The film is over 2 hours. That's a whole lot of set up for such little pay off. The film also doesn't really end. It sets up a sequel that I'm sure Vin REALLY wants to happen. It may become a reality but right now the ending of this film feels sudden and unsatisfying, a prequel to something that we don't get to see. FINAL GRADE: B
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